We have to trust God for the right friends. We never know what any one will become so we must make friends by faith. The most important thing in any man or woman that will be suitable for marriage is the fear of God. Do not start a close friendship with someone who does not fear God. If you are a child of God and all your intimate friends are unbelievers, your salvation is questionable and you need help. If you do not love God and value the things God values, you will always attract the wrong people as friends.
JOHN 11:5 “Now Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.”;
I TIMOTHY 5:1,2 “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.”;
PROVERBS 18:24 “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
Jesus was very friendly with Martha, Mary and Lazarus. He was so intimate with them that He had to go over to their place when Lazarus died. We should be able to make friends with people of the opposite sex without crossing our boundaries. Self worth is very important in helping us maintain our friendship with people of the opposite sex without messing things up. As believers, we are worth far more than fornication and adultery can afford us. In Church, we should relate with ourselves like blood brothers and sisters in all purity. It is very important that we marry our friends. However, a person does not have to be your friend before you get engaged with him or her. It must also be noted that friendship is needed to sustain the relationship. As such, husbands and wives would fare better as friends. People that cannot stick or stay as friends cannot last in marriage. Agape Love is the Ultimate Kind of Love. It is an unconditional love. It is love without reason.
JOHN 13:23:”Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.”;
PROVERBS 17:17: “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Jesus loved John. Can you love the brethren with pure love? God arranges certain people to come into our lives to train us. We must always open ourselves up to His dealings. To be qualified for marriage, you must be a friendly person. If you cannot love at all times, you are not a marriage material. To love at all times is to love in season and out of season. You can only love at all times if you have learnt to overlook offences. Offences must surely come. Any man who can raise his hand at all in attempt to beat his wife is a disgrace to the human race. If you have not learnt to take hurts, if you have not learnt to absorb offences and continue friendship; you have no business with marriage.
Offences must surely come and they must not be carried beyond a certain level if marriage must work. Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble.
PROVERBS 27:17: “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”;
ECCLESIASTES 4:9: “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.”
In order to be friends with people, you must have relational skills. You must be able to hold down conversations with your relational skills. It is too bad if you are shallow. If you are shallow, you have to prep yourself up so that you can relate well. You should not be narrow-minded, widen your horizon and broaden your mind so that you can always hold your own. You can have something against Ananias and Sapphira but give it to them, they were a good couple. They were together to the point of death. It takes iron to sharpen iron. Wood cannot sharpen iron. As such, you need a suitable help, a spouse that can always upgrade you. Two are better than one because they get to sharpen themselves. However, they have to learn to work as a team to really become better. Men are rational beings and women are intuitive beings. They must blend these traits very well for outstanding results. If the differences in the genders are not well managed, there will be serious issues. If you must do well in marriage, you have to learn how to take counsel and who to take counsel from. Don’t take counsel from people who are bad examples in marriage. Beyond emotions, real love is a commitment. When emotion fades, commitment stays. Commitment endures.